(no subject)

[mwestbelle]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: fish?
Stranger: Can I come over to your house and watch seinfield reruns
You: I don't have a house :(
Stranger: no?
Stranger: luxury carboard box?
You: nope. I'm an internet hobo
You: truth
Stranger: must be tough
Stranger: how do you get by day to day
You: it's a hard life. but it's free
You: i keep my laptop on my back
You: scavenge wireless at starbucks
Stranger: do they every try to take your clothes in compensation for power
Stranger: bi weekly?
You: they try
You: but i'm fast
You: like a business line
Stranger: how do you stay so nimble
You: well.
You: i'm technically an internet hobo ninja
You: we're very elite
Stranger: what do you do for nourishment?
Stranger: fetus of baby
Stranger: ?
You: nah, them's hard to get at
You: i usually steal people's frappucino's while they're in the bathroom
Stranger: but thats the maximum power potential
You: not when you have to expend all the energy to rip them out of a womb
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: dont like stale dumpster ones?
Stranger: you are a picky hobo
You: being a hobo doesn't mean i have no class
Stranger: thats a tough arguement to make
You: only if you've never met one of the knighthood of traveling smelly people
Stranger: so basically you create your own class
Stranger: fascinating
Stranger: how do you reproduce
You: mating with fellow hobos
Stranger: same sex?
Stranger: uni sexual hobos?
You: hobosexual hobos
Stranger: touche
You: don't ask if you can't handle the truth
Stranger: I donno if Im goign to be able to sleep tongiht
Stranger: I should have taken the red pill man
You: The red pill is bulllshit
You: what you really need is a purple pill
You: best of both worlds
Stranger: just wake up with a bloody anus the next day?
You: are you implying that's not the best?
Stranger: well depends if your poz or not
You: hobos are immune
You: little known fact!
Stranger: bs!
Stranger: thats how you louer them is
Stranger: in*
You: why would you say such a wicked falsehood about the hobo brotherhood?
Stranger: obviously they are infected
Stranger: the church told me so
You: the church probably also told you that you shouldn't play with fire, didn't it?
You: and how fucking awesome fire?
You: *is
Stranger: they just told me not to touch myself
Stranger: and the hobos are pozzed
You: touching yourself is awesome
You: and hobos are magic
Stranger: I believe your infection is clouding your connection with the holy one
You: I believe your pants are clouding your connection with the ceiling
Stranger: Im not wearing pants
You: That's a clever way to get around the issue
Stranger: I was planning to come over to your house without them too
Stranger: but nooo
You: :(
You: you could come to my alley
Stranger: to try adn convert me to the hobo clan no way
You: i had no intention of such a thing
Stranger: I see your sneaky ways
You: You think I am some manner of rapscallion, do you?
Stranger: trying to earn my trust then bam in there like the priest was when i was 9
You: oh, so you're not very tight then, are you?
You: maybe you should stay where you are
Stranger: I think it might be best for the both of us
You: I feel like a star-crossed lover
You: thwarted by some big-dicked priest
Stranger: the only solution is to kill him and steal his penis
Stranger: at least thats what my father told me
You: and did you believe your father when he said he loved you too?
Stranger: always, why are you suggesting my father does not love me? Not all sons are hobos dear
You: pshh, as if the hobos would take every tom and hairy dick that came along
Stranger: malnurisment does wierd things to the brain
Stranger: mal*nourishment
You: no, mal reynolds
Stranger: what is your local time hobo
Stranger: if you have a timepiece
You: i have a laptop, you ingrate
You: it nears the witching hour
Stranger: I need not hear the attitude hobo
Stranger: please refrain
You: I shall, if you refrain from making spurious implications about my hobo lifestyle
Stranger: I make no implications
You: I doubt your sincerity
Stranger: yar I am no impressed by your pessimism
You: I live on the streets, stealing fraps and wireless when I can. I have no time for optimism
Stranger: What prevents you from working hobo
You: I like to feel the open road under my feet and the wind from walking semi-briskly in my hair!
You: I gotta be free, man
Stranger: Well hobo I must go, have a good journey and if our paths cross someday we can watch seinfield on you laptop together in an alley
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Comments

[26days.livejournal.com]

this was too funny.